You did what?!!?

Hello everyone!

I hope you all have been doing well! I wanted to update you all on why I basically disappeared. No blogging, I rarely did any social media... it was nastay... Okay not really.

I'm sure you all know that I've got a job, and thanks to an old co-worker I kind of got thrown into a hectic schedule.. thankfully my Manager FINALLY hired a girl and she starts tomorrow! *high five!* So, hopefully after she's trained and what not, I can get some kind of schedule back...  Ontop of all of that, if you saw my Instagram post with the new kittens for Caturday (which has been a fail more on that later though)... we lost one kitten, I'd rather not get into that. BUT someone STOLE my Niece and Nephew's kittens (the other two) right out of our yard in the middle of the night. They weren't even old enough to be away from their Mom. Such a shame. I'm still trying to find them though... So Caturday was going to be Mom (the mom cat, she replied to Mama or Mom... seriously) and Anya, well someone hit Mom today. I mean just really. People are dispicable. Okay... back to a happier-ish subject.

Besides all of that, I pretty much lost all amibition, creativity...pretty much I lost my love for blogging. I've missed Beauty Blogger of Central Florida posts, The Beauty Buff's posts, my OWN posts that I've got semi-done.. I just.. I rarely turned my computer on actually. That's just how bad I wanted to get away from blogging, social media and just computers in general. I did still talk to a couple people (Tunay Na Mahal and The Mercurial Magpie) over Facebook and Glitterfists via text... let me tell you those three ladies are the only reason that I am typing this right now, instead of letting my "hiatus" go on longer. So thank you ladies! You all are amazing!

I really wasn't exactly ready to come back because there was a death in the family yesterday.. yes, unfortunately someone else has passed on. It sucks, but it's a part of life. That's harsh to say, but it is. The one entirely good thing about the past few weeks... months... yeah months is that I WON tickets from my local rock radio station 98rocktampabay.com to the Linkin Park/30 Seconds to Mars Carnivores Tour... Yes.. my two FAVORITE bands! *squeels* I've been wanting to go to this concert since they announced it. August 8th can't come any quicker! Muhaha I'm even considering on going to Uproar to see Godsmack.. I mean, hello! ... okay okay.. change of topic again. Enough rambling about everything gunky.

I am going to finish typing up my posts that are partially done and thanks to Tunay Na Mahal, I shall actually paint my nails for the first time in over a week. I have some of the most amazing friends, the help me get through each and everyday. I wouldn't trade them for the world!

But what I do want to know from you all is what you would like to see?!  I've got a makup look, a swatch or two of some polishes as well as... I'm not sure.. I have another post, but for the life of me (i'm not even going to check) I can't remember what it is about... Oh! I've got Anya's Corner posts that I'm going to do as well! As well as I need to do my June Beauty Box 5 post. I do have a lot to catch up on!

Anyways, thank you all for reading this very wordy, no picture post!

<3 xoxo

BPD... What? An little chat.

Hey everyone!

This is going to be a way different kind of post. I'm going to try and keep it in the positive sense, but I don't know what has come over me, but I really feel that I need to talk about it.

As I'm sure you don't know, (I've kind of hinted about some stuff on twitter etc) but I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) no it is not schizophrenia at all. Basically I am emotionally unstable. Crazy huh? Ontop of that I have severe depression. (that we may talk about later) I was diagnosed with it when I was in High School when I basically went off the deep end. From my Sophomore to Junior year in high school I basically was in a downward spiral. Suicide attempts, cutting, etc. I didn't do drugs or anything, that's gross. I'm HIGHLY against drugs, like you have no idea how bad I am against them. Off topic... You may be asking why exactly am I talking about this? I don't want to scare anyone off, or have people judge me or think less of me, but honestly I want to be open with everyone.
BPD is really hard to treat without medication, you basically are even more unstable without meds. I stopped taking my meds a few months after I started them. Why? They gave me the worst migraines of my life. No joke, to the point that it would keep me home from school, not only that but they made me feel like a mindless Zombie. Yeah, no thanks.
I try and keep a positive outlook on life and look for the positives in every single situation. I don't want to be the negative Nancy like I used to be, because it sucked hard. I can go from being happy, to wanting to cry in a matter of seconds. I can also get extremely pissed off for no reason at all (trust me it happens) It's all a cycle of un-fun stuff.

The ONLY THING that has kept me going and helped me truck on with life is blogging and the friends that I have made through blogging. Most of them are through twitter but you know what, I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm a part of the Beauty Bloggers Of Central Florida and have met some of the most amazing ladies. You all have an amazing impact on me, like you have no idea. If I'm ever feeling down or anything I just have to go on twitter and y'all can make me feel better, even if you don't know anything is wrong. I also have two friends that I talk to a lot through facebook, it used to be every day, but I've distanced myself from facebook and basically the internet.

I am extremely grateful for all of the opportunities that I have gained from blogging. I would never want to give up what I do because it makes me feel amazing being able to help others out and to give my opinion. I know you hear this a lot, but I've never been dishonest once when giving a review. It's basically something I can't do. If I were to lie about something it weighs on my mind like crazy and I would feel terrible about it. I've never been anything but honest with you all and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Why am I telling you all this? I want to be honest and I want you all to know where I come from. I feel like it can give you all a better insight to me as a person, instead of someone sitting behind a computer, taking pictures of things and typing words.

Don't ever be ashamed of who you are. I was plenty ashamed of myself until I found this wonderful community.

I hope you all are doing well! :) See you later for a nail post! (it's going to be super quick because It's a comparison) then we have some makeup and body posts! Woot! Getting back on track!

Also, check out Nikki Gee MUA on Twitter I probably would still be in a dark corner of the room if it wasn't for her! xx Much love!

I did this post to be completely honest and up front with you all. If you stop reading my blog/unsubscribe I guess I will understand (nor will I be surprised). :) I promise posts like this will be totally rare. I just wanted to kind of give an insight into my life <3

Happy Easter!

Hello everyone!

I hope you all have a Happy Easter! Or a Happy Sunday!!
=^_^=
I know I am putting this up a day early and I actually had some blog posts planned, but right now. I'm going to take a break until Monday. I got some VERY disheartening news last night and just can't concentrate on much of anything.
Last night I found out that my Grandfather (My Dad's Father) has terminal brain cancer. It can't be operated on and he can't do chemo-therapy because of his heart. I'm not saying this because I want sympathy. I am saying it because I want you all to know that yes, there is actually a human being behind writing this blog and right now I just want to take a couple of days break and just enjoy the Holiday with my family.
My Grandfather is an EXTREMELY strong willed man and he has been through hell and back, but this might be his last Easter and I want to make the best of it.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!! <3

This is a picture from the wedding. Not my favorite picture but it has my Grandfather and well my Dad's side of the familia in it. My Grandfather is in the center row. I'm sure you can guess which one :)

And with that I leave.

Happy Easter/Sunday everyone!


Autumn